The dress. It’s the one thing everyone has an opinion on. Even people that aren’t invited to your wedding. And especially complete strangers.
I started this whole dress thing real early. About a year ago, actually. I did my fair share of research– wedding blogs, magazines, Pinterest– and came to the consensus that I really didn’t care much for wedding dresses and would much rather just wear the one I had constructed 24 years ago:
Flower crown, flowy fabrics, beachy waves… nailed it, right? But unfortunately the closest I could find to this dare-I-call-it-Bohemian vibe was from a designer in Australia that was, well, in Australia.
Alas, I set up a few appointments at salons around the city, including a “warm-up” appointment at BHLDN (where the salesgirls do not get a commission. i.e. a no pressure experience. Highly recommended).
When I was ready for the first “real” appointment, at Gabriella Bridal, it went surprisingly well. I had my best friend and MOH, Shelley, with me, along with my cousin and bridesmaid, Natalie, who came in from Boston for the day. I worked with an amazing stylist (who even followed up with a hand-written note) and tried on some truly unique gowns. Although I did find a dress I liked very much, the price tag just didn’t sit well with me.
The next appointment, at Lovely Bride, was… how do I say this…. terrible. The stylist simply was not listening to me (example: I told her I did not like ball gowns or bling, and next thing I know, I have 7 sparkly dresses with full skirts in my dressing room), did not help me get into any of the dresses (which, ya know, is fine if you’re into the whole yelling-across-a-busy-salon-to-ask-a-complete-stranger-to-help-you-get-un-stuck-from-a-hideous-sparkly-tutu kinda thing), and when she was paying attention to me, she was telling me how she hated her job and was thinking about applying to be bartender at a new beer hall in Brooklyn. Needless to say, I did not find anything there, but I did contact the store manager to complain about my stylist.
A few weeks and many many ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ episodes later, my mom and aunt Sheila came in for an appointment at the infamous Kleinfeld. Did I think I was going to find “the” dress here? No. But did I want to experience what hundreds of TV brides cry about? Absolutely.
At Kleinfeld, I was paired with a stylist, let’s call her “Judith”, who had been there since Kleinfeld’s beginnings when it was just a little shop in Bay Ridge. 60 years ago. But Judith is not just some little old lady. Judith is a brutally honest, no tolerance for divas, buy it or get out, little old lady.
After describing what I was looking for to Judith, she told me she “didn’t get it” and sent me off into the racks to browse for myself. Let me just say that I was NOT unhappy about this, because no one EVER gets to just “go browse the racks” at Kleinfeld. This is made clear on the show, and it was made clear to me when several stylists asked me, in so many words, what the f**k I was doing back there.
But. it. was. so. cool. Imagine swimming in a sea of thousands and thousands of designer wedding gowns, with hundreds more hanging above your head. An absolute floor-to-ceiling cave of wonders.
Before I got kicked out of the racks, I did manage to find a few Claire Pettibone dresses I liked, apparently ones from years ago that were about to be liquidated (go figure). This one was particularly awesome, very 70s, which in my mind was the best decade fashion-wise:
[Matt, if you are reading this, THIS IS NOT MY DRESS. So you can stop hyperventilating now.]
But, despite Judith’s (aggressive) sales pitch (“This dress won’t be here if you wait! You can’t blame me if someone buys it and you regret not buying it all your life!”), I decided I needed to see a few more dresses, and left empty handed.
Remember that Australian designer I mentioned? The only one that seemed to capture the look I wanted? Well, in an interesting twist of fate, Lovely Bride, the salon I swore I’d never return to, picked up the line, making them the ONLY salon in the tri-state area to carry this designer. I emailed the store for weeks and weeks about this, confirming which dresses were coming and the exact date of arrival, and when the dresses finally arrived in October, made an appointment with one of their most senior stylists. I showed up with my mom, Shelley, and my soon-to-be sister-in-law (and bridesmaid), Adria, really hoping to find “the” dress. Of course, when I got there, I quickly realized that the salon had not picked up the full line, only a handful of the dresses, meaning that the one dress I had been swooning over (and had confirmed arrival via email!!) was still many continents away. I did try on the “runner-up” swoon-worthy dress and really, really liked it. But knowing that I couldn’t try on the dress I had been anticipating, I again left empty-handed.
Which brings me back to Judith. Good ol’ Judith.
The next morning, I returned to Kleinfeld with my mom and Shelley just to see if I still felt strongly about the Claire Pettibone dress. It was different. And bohemian. And very affordable. But the second I tried it on, my mind went back to that runner-up dress back at Lovely. This is when Judith decided to pull out the big guns, and next thing I knew, I had several assistants “jacking me up” in my dressing room, and a surprise visit from both Elizabeth Fillmore (the designer of the dress I loved back at Gabriella Bridal) and Nicole, the head sales manager and ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ regular, who each gave me the longest list of compliments I’ve ever heard in my life.
Yes, it was hard to say “no” when I had all of these persuasions, but as Judith’s final sales pitch, she argued I should buy this dress “because that Australian one makes you look fat.”
Aaaaand that was the end of my Kleinfeld experience.
Takeaway: there are some stylists they don’t feature on the show. And for good reason.
I did return to Lovely Bride, where the store manager agreed to accommodate me after hours, slipped on the “runner up” dress once more, and decided that, you know what, this dress is great. It’s different. It fits my style. I can dance in it. My mom loves it. And I’m really sick of looking at wedding dresses.
I did not have the kind of teary emotional moment you see on TV, and I didn’t even know it was “the one” when I first tried it on. But now that all is said and done, I’m actually very happy with my decision. Thrilled, even, because in the end I think it was really really perfect for me.
So, to conclude this wedding dress saga, here is a photo of me picking up my dress from the salon, feeling incredibly confident in my choice and beyond excited to wear it on my wedding day.
Sorry, Judith.
Jordan Getting Married 
